08/04/2024
How could a mother keep her child away from a loving father who wants to be in his child’s life? There are so many dads out there who refuse to even acknowledge their children. How can a mother justify causing severe truama to their child?
There's this thing called Narcissistic Parental Alienation Syndrome.
You'll have to first understand I'm not a mental health professional, so my understanding of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is gleaned from professionals who make it their specialty* Therefore, take what I say with a grain of salt.
Narcissists have an extremely fragile sense of self. They were often victims of abuse or neglect as children. In order to cover their sense of worthlessness, they create a huge facade to the outside world. This facade must be perfect 100%, 100% of the time. The facade may never, ever, be breached. If it is breached, it forces them to face their own failures and faults, and that causes them to be devastated and generally extremely angry.
The other party suing for divorce causes a big breach in the facade, and all the Narcissist's alarms go off. They become FURIOUS that the world now knows they're not perfect, and they turn that anger on the other party….by turning the children against him or her.
The children at least will think the Narcissist is perfect, because she/he will make sure they do. And let's face it, children are the perfect victims for brain- washing. They love the Narcissist, and obviously want to please him or her…plus they're children-- and therefore pliable.
“Daddy doesn't love you anymore-- he has a new family"
“Mom didn't send the child support check--I guess she doesn't care if you eat this month or not. “
“They can't call you, we don't know your telephone number" (same telephone number for 15 years)
“ They don't like your new wife, so they threw your birthday presents away"
Lies on top of lies on top of lies-- and the children will believe this because they're children. You can have a mountain of evidence in front of you, showing you have paid every child support payment every month for 10 years, and it won't make a bit of difference, because the Narcissist is in control.
I'm very sorry if this is happening to you. I've known several parents who just gave up because they're exhausted and the financial drain for attorneys needs to stop. At some point, the alienated parent hopes the child will start understanding what's going on when they become mature and can separate from the Narcissist.
In the meantime, I hope you keep fighting as long as you can. I also can recommend *DoctorRamani on YouTube as a great psychologist with a specialty in NPD.
