01/06/2022
Please be advised that crime will be on a 2-hour delay tomorrow due to predicted severe wind chill casuing sub zero temperatures.
A wind chill advisory has been issued for Moline tomorrow with temperatures getting as low as -25° so if you are a criminal, sleep in, stay warm and ask yourself the following during the 2-hr delay:
Should I get up and go steal someone else’s stuff?
Answer is no, their stuff is freezing cold and it’s not yours to begin with, leave it alone!!
Should I get up and go assault/batter someone?
Answer is also no, it’s freezing outside. There is no need to touch anyone, they are cold, you are cold, two colds don’t make a right. Keep your hands to yourself and in your pockets, it’s warm there.
I’m a criminal, what can I do then?
Answer is get some rest, call Crime Stoppers of the Quad Cities of your friends/enemies, watch Cops on TV, watch wholesome TikToks and try to clean up your TikTok algorithm.
It’s going to be felony cold tomorrow, so there is no need to go out and add to that.
In all seriousness, stay safe tomorrow, it’s going to be dangerously cold. Stay warm and stay safe Moline 💙