11/28/2024
I’m sharing my niece Amy’s post for best wishes for Happy Thanksgivings to all.
As we head into the Thanksgiving holiday, I wanted to share a little story…In 2019, I began a daily practice of written gratitude, and that practice has helped shape me as a leader, a colleague, a friend - and a human. I have written volumes of gratitude for everything from Wiley Wallaby Classic Red Licorice to having the opportunity to speak about aligned leadership to 1000 conference attendees. I’ve made some surprising and even difficult-to-embrace discoveries about myself through the expression of gratitude. And I’ve learned through those hundreds of handwritten pages that gratitude doesn’t become part of one’s DNA through will and repetition alone.
Repeatedly telling oneself to “be grateful” or “give thanks” does little to create a true belief and practice and often spawns feelings of frustration and shame - and a bunch of unmet “should”s. “I should be grateful I at least have food to eat.” “I should be grateful I at least have a job.” While those facts may be true, focusing solely on the fact that one may have comparatively “more” than someone else bypasses and completely ignores a host of human emotion and experience. I’ll share.
On December 12, 2022 I wrote, “How the hell can I be grateful for anything today when I’m worried about my mom’s surgery?”
I was sitting at a breakroom table at the hospital, waiting for a progress update from the surgeon. I was trying to take advantage of the pre-dawn quiet and focus on my gratitude journaling for the day, and it just wasn’t happening. I set my journal aside and took out the Kitty Christmas Coloring Book and colored pencils I’d brought and started on the holly wreath and cute little bow around the tabby kitten’s neck on page 3. I painstakingly outlined the holly berries before coloring them in, as Mrs. Mendoza had taught me to do in the 4th grade.
Before I knew it, I’d finished the berries, holly leaves and bow, and I found myself relishing my work. I felt this warm appreciation for having time to do something I hadn’t remembered doing much of since I was a kid. That appreciation calmed me and my racing mind; it helped my worry move along, and that is when curiosity sidled up.
What if gratitude is less about forcing a checklist of all the “things” in my life that I “should” acknowledge and more about finding the calm in the present? What if gratitude is really a state of being rather than a task to be checked off?
In that moment, I realized that having gratitude begins with appreciation. Appreciation unlocks the door and cracks it open a little; it sets a beautiful table and invites gratitude and possibility over for tea.
I’ve learned that when I pause to consciously appreciate something - coloring a Christmas kitten, a beautiful sunrise, the fact that when I accidentally washed a pen in my hoodie pocket it didn’t break open and bleed on the whole load of laundry - I create calm in my mind. I create space for whatever feelings I’m experiencing - and grace for them to move through.
As I was putting the final touches on the little tufts on Christmas kitten’s ears, my cell phone buzzed with news that the surgeon had successfully removed the mass from my mom’s abdomen and that he was about to “close ‘er up.” I burst into tears - not from the release of pent up worry, but from overflowing gratitude.
It today’s world of constant change and disruption, it can feel almost impossible - and can certainly feel contrived and inauthentic - to muster gratitude for much of anything. It’s OK to acknowledge that. That, to me, is human.
Instead of adding to the din of demand this holiday season by forcing the creation of a list of things to be grateful for, I invite you to consider investing 30 seconds in search of something to appreciate, something that calms your mind and warms your soul. Maybe it’s playing fetch with your furry friend, maybe it’s enjoying the patterns of sunlight through fall colored trees, or maybe it’s finding the most perfectly ripe pineapple at the market. Whatever it is, I encourage you to selfishly embrace a moment of appreciation.
Consider sowing seeds of appreciation to cultivate calm and peace. Life can be challenging and discouraging - and brilliantly beautiful and bountiful. Let it be.
Appreciation is an invitation. Peace is a wonderful host. Gratitude will come.
Shine 😊✨❤️
Written by
Amy A. Fairchild, PMP
The Encourage Project
