17/05/2026
What a way to finish off another massive week at Cernus Denture Clinic & Laboratories by officially introducing our NEW Silent Business Partner after 28 years in buisness!!
We are thrilled to announce that
Anthony Albanese now owns a completely accidental 47% stake in
Cernus Denture Clinic & Laboratories despite never touching a hand piece, answering a patients call, taking an impression of a patients mouth or making a denture.
Every invoice we send magically summons him like a mystical tax wizard demanding his share:
- GST
- Company tax
- PAYG
- Super
- Workers comp
- Fuel excise
- Stamp duty
- CGT
- And now less CGT discount when small business owners finally sell the thing they spent 28 years building ๐ซถ
Also a huge thank you for helping make housing even harder for younge Australians trying to get ahead before retirement. I pray our girls win the tatts loto because thatโs the only way they can afford to purchase a house for themselves in the future!!
But thatโs okay because apparently the backup plan is:
โJust rely on super.โ Until he decides that we have to much money in that too.
NOTE: this is satire and the photo is AI before Channel 9 reports that Albo secretly owns Cernus Denture Clinic & Laboratories