03/07/2026
Hold the Kleenex
Of all of the lessons that I have learned at and around my years and visits to 1 Crandon, not one has hit me deeper, challenged me more or took me longer to process. It was not centric relation. It was not crossover-although that was a biggie. It was my perspective change of empathy.��I heard the story more than once-just like CR and crossover. In The Circle. In Masters, At Leadership and Legacy. My ears and my heart truly were not ready to absorb and fathom it until it became personal. The funny thing is I am not sure who shared the lesson. It may have been Lee Brady. It may have been Mary Osborne. Maybe both. I know that Joan Unterschuetz influence was in the room.
They shared a story of a patient that started crying, opening their vulnerability and sharing their pain and grief. They shared-with a conviction that I did not deeply appreciate at the time. Let the tears flow. Do not offer the Kleenex. Do not shut them down and suggest that crying is not OK.��I did not truly appreciate that until my Father passed away suddenly-almost 10 years ago. It has taken me those 10 years to process and share that wisdom.
The pain, the tears, the grief shared. It is a gift that we are privileged to sit next to. It is a gift of trust. It is The Circle in our own practices and our lives. It is why in The Circle, we do not fix, solve or even pass the Kleenex-but it is always close. As diagnosticians and solvers, that can be the most difficult lesson and skill to apply or rather allow to happen, without intervention. It’s a ‘watch.’��This last week a dear friend lost her Mother. A favorite patient, far too young, suddenly lost his wife. I did not offer condolences and sorrow for their loss. I told them my heart broke for them and shared my own pain and vulnerability. It was not the words I used but rather the true intention of empathy.
��I held the Kleenex-but kept it close, for each of us.
